Growing up in Northern Ireland was a young Catholic boy and a young Protestant girl, both about four years old.
Although Catholics and Protestants didn’t always get along, they generally played together since they didn’t understand why their relatives had told them not to be friends.
The young girl said, “It’s quite hot today,” while the two were playing outside on one particularly hot day. We should head over to the swimming hole to cool off.
We just can’t do it, the young boy replied. We are missing our swimming clothes.
But the young girl responded, “That’s fine. We can all swim in our all-togethers!”
The two then left for the swimming hole, where they undressed. The young girl then begins to stare at the young boy from head to toe, her eyes wide with confusion. And the young boy was focusing on the young girl. from head to toe His face was bewildered and his jaw was open.
“Ma Da told me that Catholics and Protestants were different,” he said. But I didn’t realise how different we really were!
For a School assignment, I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.
I was surprised to discover that the total file size was 1GB.
An Irish man and an American
From Dublin, an American was making his way north to Northern Ireland. His car was surrounded by IRA members at the border, and the leader approached him.
Protestant or Catholic, the leader asked.
The American said, “Actually, I’m nondenominational,” after being startled.
So would that be Catholic nondenominational or Protestant nondenominational, the IRA leader asked.
Security Alert in Newry
There was a security alert in Newry due to a suspicious object on a car.
Police later identified it as a tax disc.
Ladas Drive Taxi
Man in Belfast get’s into a taxi and say’s “Ladas Drive, mate.”
The taxi driver replies, “You can sit in the back like everyone else .”
Two ducks flying over Ballymena.
One goes “quack quack”. The other goes “Am going as quack as a can!”
Battle of Hastings
A man enters an off-license in Belfast, grabs a beer, and walks over to the cashier. The cashier says “ten sixty-six” after adding up the cost of the beer.
The guy replied with a smile, “Oh! “Battle of Hastings!”
Looking at the shelf behind him the girl says “Sorry, we have no Battles Hastings.”
Alarm Belfast
In Northern Ireland, how do you sound the alarm?
You hit the Belfast!